Tuesday, December 1, 2009
it's been a long time since my last post...lol. guess i dun really see the need to update anymore. anyways. holidays has been sucky. as most of my frens know, manda and me hav been grounded for our bad grades, lifestyle, attitudes and wat not, so we haven't gone out with frens at all. tat's really screwed up. but luckily, my parents still let us go out when it's a family outin. i watched 2012 with my siblings a while ago. great show. didn't really hav a plot though, but quite a cool show with nice effects. but the theatre sucked big time..sigh. hmm...wat else...oh yeah! had my last church camp a few wks ago! SO.DAMN.FREAKIN.AWESOME!!! info on manda's blog since i'm too lazy to write-_-" but this was like the best camp eva! actually all 3 camps were nice...all for different reasons. sec 1 was becuz of *** and sec 2 was coz i was in manda's group and we stayed up to talk and gossip with some facilitators abt stuff like dream weddings, random stuff and some really interestin stuff. lol. then sec 3 was coz i was with my clique=) more frankly speakin, i was with the ppl from my class tat i was more close to than others. like my sis, amanda fong, alicia fong, michelle and melissa! and the 2 guys was dylan and ted. and well, i was really glad since they r the guys tat i'm more close to than others. also, this year, we mixed around more with the guys and spoke to them much more than last time, since guys and gals talkin was considered 'taboo' in previous years. lol. so yeah. really gonna miss camp. and i'm so goin if there's gonna be a post-confirmation camp!
moving along...erm...i went to orchard like once or twice this month. once was for dinner with family and theother was to help my bro/ acompany him to buy clothes. he's so vain now sia-.-" so yeah. then we went to the airport to pick my mum up, she came back from a business trip, and went to eat swensens! yummy! and i felt so fat sia. haah. then like the followin day or somethin went to pick my dad up at the airport. haha so sian of the airport. today went to amanda fong's house to study. haha. did SOME studyin and ate. a lot. haha ok not so much but i loved her nea zealnd's cookies and cream ice cream! delicious=) haha. ate it with hershey's dark chocolate syrup. heavenly...haha. yup. and i'm officially DEAD since i haven't done any hw or revision..(which we were supposed to be doin while being grounded, but manda and me hav been slackin at home...) so yeah. die. die. die...
gdbye.
11:50 PM
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
the halloween party was speechless. haha. it was definitely memorable! the bbq was ruined since it rained but the best part was when some of us jumped into the pool! haha. since my costume was soaked from the rain, i juz decided to swim in them. haha. awesome experience=0 then we also bbq in the rain. lol. anyways. ended up sick the next few days. sore throat and headache and wat not. and TPC was a total screw-up. haiz. life isn't well for me. it sucks. BIG TIME.
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my life is now a fuckin hell hole. i dun even wanna go home coz i dun wanna see their faces. i nvr thought our relationship would turn like this. i haven't spoken to my mum in like a week. not coz I dun want to, it's coz SHE doesn't want to. and obviously my dad will always side her. they make an awesome ass pair. such screwed up ppl. some ppl might say i'm a bitch and wat not for talkin abt my parents this way, but seriously speaking, if they were to live with them durin this period of time, i think they'd hav run away from home by now. which i'm contemplating everyday. i can't even breathe when i'm at home. know y? coz their attitudes are suffocating me. they're takin away all the good in my life. my dad has been shoutin every fuckin day. i mean it's our bad habits and faults for behavin this way. not bathin straight after we come home, not plannin our time properly. but hello?! it my fuckin life! i can do wat i want with it. and i know countless of ppl who hav the same problem as me but their parents dun give them hell because of it. so y r my parents like tat? it's coz they're juz ******* and ******* and should juz disappear from my life. now i understand those kids tat hav family problems and run away from home. but i'm not takin drugs or stealing or killing or smokin or having underaged sex right?! so y r they so fucked up and angry? and my dad said last night, when he was shouting at like 11pm like a mad man, "this is your last chance, u'd better not FUCK with me, u both(ammy and me) can go and cry all u want tonight, cry urselves to slp coz i'm gonna make sure tat i make u two cry a lot more if this happens again."
how the fuck can u talk to ur daughters like tat? and i mean DAUGHTERS. he nvr spoke to my brothers this way. even when my brother did something bad and got canings in school. huh. and trust me, he's said worse things. every fuckin night manda and me hav to cry ourselves to slp. and seeing her hurt is really fuckin pissin me off. i'm fuckin angry and agitated and so fucked up tat i'm fuckin close to snapping. trust me, if someone were to agitate and annoy me just a little bit i'm gonna fuckin snap like a twig. hah. i've used like countless of F words already. in this paragraph alone i've used 7. wtv. the only reason y i know i can't run away from home is coz i hav O level chem SPA on friday. maybe after tat. who knows.
11:02 AM
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
ok. haven't blogged in ages. i hav been goin out quite a bit but too lazy to blog. srry=( haha. can chack out ammy's blog for those updates since i go almost everywhere with her. lol.
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yesterday went ok. heart to heart talk. let it out. almost setttled. but i dunno if it's fully settled. we'll see in the future.
BUT I LUV ALL OF U GUYS LOADS NO MATTER WAT<3
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today went to orchard(again...been there so many times. too often tat i'm kinda sick of it.) with ammy, my cousin, uncle and aunt. they went to far east to check out a few shops there cos my cuz wants to rent a space to sell her clothes, and her parents went with her. me and ammy went ion first to check out the mask and fan at monsoon. then headed to far east to meet up with them and then we continued searching for costume accesories. after awhile, met up with my cousin and family again. then aunt and uncle left while the three of us went to walk walk. haha i've been to so many costume/accesories/halloween shops tat i've nvr been to or didn't know existed. the stuff were cool but too $$$. haha. so ended up buying the mask at ion. we decided to not buy the feathery fan cause it'll look weird with the feathery mask. haha. my cousin said i would look like a bird. haha. i've got the nice dress from my cousin also since she has her stock at her house. and wat's more, it's free!!! haha so i dun hav to pay her even though the dress was for sale. i feel kinda guilty but she said i dun need to pay. I LUV HER LOADS!<3 even though she's like 22, we can still click with her and i realise as we grow older, we become closer to her. cool much=) so yup. hopefully my mum will allow manda and me to go for the halloween party this friday, cause if not then i think i'll be devastated! hahs. but i dun really know if my outfit is considered a costume...a dark navy dress with a turqoise feathery mask...hmm. i dunno. manda and me wanted to do a masquerade sort of outfit. oh well.
omg lah. tomorrow startin extended studies. can die sia. i'm so damn scared for o levels, it's only a year away. from here on, it's gonna be a really stressful year and i'm not lookin forward to it. sigh.....
Labels: will this peace last...i really hope so
1:25 AM
Thursday, October 15, 2009
hello.
been a while since my last post.
lots of things hav happened.
lots of things hav been revealed.
and yet
more mysteries juz keep "blossoming"...
the FYEs r screwed i suppose. well wat can i expect? i studied the day before after all...
the pasy 2 wks hav been 'eventful'.
-went to brenda's house a few times. beautiful house. awesome porch. nice family. haha. i sound like i'm a
commentator on family lifestyles and all tat crap. anyways. had a super fun time hanging out with her and also tat day
when ten, amira, me and ammy went to B's house again.
-skipped 2 days of school. one on purpose and the other coz we couldn't wake up...so we went to marine parade polyclinic.
first time i've EVER stepped into a polyclinic in my life. lol. so called vic to come down and take mc with us. ammy and me
were like lost sheep ok, didn't even know how to register...the security guard so nice go and help us=) hahs. went library and
then vic came over to my house to "study". hah. shan't elaborate.
-erm... i seriously can't remember anythin. omg. i'm growin old way too fast. sighs.
today was interclass netball competition. we lost...wtv. haha. i luv u guys but sometimes i get irritated. it's human nature. srry. then went to the marina barrage trail. at first i thought it was walking for 3 hrs under the hot sun. but i was wrong. it was really breezy there and we didn't walk much. i've learnt something today=) when u wanna go on a tour at the marina barrage building thing, dun hire a tour guide. coz it's seriously WAY more fun when u walk and explore with ur frens.overall, i thought the excursion rocked! the ppl there were awesome so obviously i had an awesome time. but it'll definitely hav been more fun if fai and fuzz were there. hope they get well soon.
i'm so confused abt everythin. i hope to settle things soon so we can get back together as one big happy "family"=) ok? hurry!
gdbyes.
11:50 PM
Thursday, October 1, 2009
the past week has been awesome=) tuesday was icc with ammy, dylan, bradley and their kc fren cheryl. bradley is dylan's cousin and he and cheryl are nice ppl! then to the T3 airport. 'studied'. haha sorta. then wednesday was the freakin bomb! manda and me went brenda's house. her house damn nice!!! and the best part was the DRIVE there! wooh!! i was so freakin excited abt it=) haha. coz ????? drove us to brenda's house and he's only 15yrs old! he use his dad's car. hahahahah. so damn awesome!!! i cannot contain my excitement=] lol. so surreal. i wanna do it again! the past week i hav been talkin to dylan a bit and i found out tat he's a really fun person to talk to! haha.
ok. after i finish my exams i wanna go brenda's house and go out more with dylan and go out with my clique! haha.
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i hope u're ok. u dun sound ok the past few days. i wanna talk to u abt EVERYTHIN tat has happened and stuff. coz i'm seriously worried for u. hope to c u soon.
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gdbye.
Labels: this is damn stressful
11:41 PM
Monday, September 28, 2009
F1=AWESOMEST=CRAZIEST=LOUDEST=FUNNEST=BESTEST TIME I EVER HAD!
today manda and me went to the F1 race day. obviously it's freakin awesome. lol. we were late but who cares. then we didn't sit at our sits long coz we went to walk walk=) we missed practically the whole race coz we went to look for ted. though it feels disappointin and like it's a waste of tickets, i wouldn't want today to be any other way.=] coz i REALLYREALLYREALLY enjoyed myself and well...let's juz say the experience was more than i expected. haha. anyway. saw ted's family, who r like awesome and friendly and nice and fun! haha ted's juz like his dad. they act similar and even dress similar. i feel so guilty. i made manda angry. and i made her miss the race coz of my selfishness. i'm really sorry ammy=( i said i'm gonna make it up to her somehow. i was tellin her tat i would rather come here with my frens and enjoy the experience, rather than sit in a chair and watch 61 laps of the same thing. the only thing i regret is not being able to c the car crash! coz from my seat i can actually c it. but there's nothin i can do abt it now. then walked around with ammy and ted and then we left like at 10 plus comin to 11. super late. and i haven't even studied. yet again. sighs.
today was also the P3's first holy communion! they were all so damn cute!!!!! like brides and grooms. and the decor in the canteen had hearts so i was sayin it was like valentine's or some match-makin session. lol. i ate lunch at siglap macs b4 the event with ammy, petrina, dylan, earl and louise. saw some other church ppl there. haha shall not elaborate=)
Labels: today is just the best day i've had in a long long time
12:55 AM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
things hav happened.
secrets hav been told.
the airport trip yesterday was meaningful
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they hav parted. it's shocking and extremely heartbreakin. it still seems so surreal, i guess the fact of the break up hasn't sunk in yet. now all i hope for is tat she'll be ok. tat he'll be ok. tat they'll be able to carry on with their lives.
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F. , juz know tat we're here for u. i know u know tat. the past few days hav been the worst days ever, and it was really heart breaking to c u like tat. but everythin'll get better in time and we'll be with u every step of the way. look at wat i wrote in tat poem, it's from my heart and it'll help u. like we said, u can miss him, support him and wait for him, but u must try to reduce it. like wat u're doin now. coz the circle of life nvr stops spinning and though bad things hav happened, life must go on. we'll be with u anytime u need comfort. so i juz wish for u to feel better soon and smile again=)
you can cry, you can grieve. but all in all, you must live.
to the other F. , i had no idea u had gone through tat. my heart really goes out to u. but we've said wat we had to say at the airport so i hope u feel better=)
to I. , i've said wat i hav to say already tat night. i hope u feel better too. though u say u're fine, i can't help but think u're not 100% fine. so yeah. gd luck with ur studies too=]
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this week is packed. i dun hav enough time for anythin. yesterday i was juz so overwhelmed by everythin. so when manda and me were kinda argueing with my parents abt some sensitive stuff, i was like tearing and shaking, coz i was tryin so hard not to cry. i wanted to talk back but decided against it. so later when we talked to my mum again, i was keepin silent most of the time while manda and her talked/argued. coz when i talked, i started tearin even more. so i juz decided to shut up and try and calm myself. then my father came and talked to us, obviously i teared even more. they totally misunderstood us. they thought tat we 'hated' them or somethin coz of the issue we were talkin abt. but we didn't. maybe we sounded like we were angry with them but we truly weren't angry at them. it was probably due to the stress of everythin tat we sounded like tat. then i went to the toilet to bathe and i just broke down. wat was even more stupid was tat i had to like be silent and stuff so tat my parents wouldn't hear me cryin.
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today woke up still feeling down and was down in school too. but eventually the day got better. bugis-ed with ammy, fai, brenda and ernie. brenda was so hilarious man. and today's the first time i went bugis street! it was ok. but really wet. haha.
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i'm still brooding over the same problem again. everytime i want to talk to someone abt it, i eventually decide against it. y? maybe i'm too afraid to open up or maybe coz somethin always happens and it makes me unable to talk to someone or maybe coz i juz dun want to tell anyone. i really dunno. i've been dealing with this problem for ages and ages. at first i'll get so freakin emo abt it, then somethin'll happen tat cheers me up and gets my mind off of it. but then soon after, somethin else will happen and i'll be reminded of the problem all over again. the cycle juz keeps on repeatin.
Labels: broken hearts can be mended and pain heals with time. tat's wat u think.
8:31 PM
